fragile


(source)

yes… that be me right now… physically and emotionally…

I feel bad for not posting lately but honestly I have just not been myself since early February… I don’t know if it’s exaustion or what…

this week alone i’ve cried at 5 different TV shows and been convinced that Minnie saw something super natural in the living room when she spent 20 minutes staring at my dad’s picture on the wall…

and of course now i’m welling up during TV show number six – Our America with Lisa Ling- Faith Healers… can I just say she is one spectacular journalist…

But I digress… my migraines are back… probably relating to the fact that I got an eye infection from my contacts (we think), burst a bunch of blood vessels in my eye and have had double vision (side effect of the meds)… The docs dropped my dosage of the preventive pain meds down and i immediately had migraines come back…

Then a few days later I started getting crippling upper back pain… so for a week I’ve been battling severe pain from the top of my head through my face and jaw down through my neck and into my back… I refrain from any pain meds during the day because I am so busy with school and everything else… By the time I get home it takes a few hrs of laying down and perscription iburprofen to be tolerable…

I’m debating if I need to see a doctor about my back now…

And I’m really just on the brink of wanting to give up… I know I won’t… but I really feel like it…

The more people I meet in my field, the more people I find that knew my dad and they send me to talk to other people who knew him and I just am opening up wounds I didn’t know I had… I am so overwhelmed… and one little push away from shattering… Its terrifying…

I’m sorry for the vent… Sometimes things just kind of pour out of you…

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7 thoughts on “fragile

  1. Don’t ever apologize for what you’re feeling, it’s natural and we all need to vent or we will go crazy. I was wondering where you have been but didn’t want to be all nosy and stuff 😦

    I suck at encouraging words but thinking of you and sending good vibes your way. Some days as much as it sucks, we just gotta take one day at a time and hope things get easier. I’ll be in Pittsburgh at the end of the month and would love to meet up for lunch of coffee, let me know 🙂

    • oh that would be fantastic!!!! i’m going to be in chicago from the 20-24… but other than that I can manuver things around to def meet up… gives me something to look forward too… 🙂

      Thanks for the words of encouragement too… means a lot!

  2. Sorry to hear you are going through so much right now. Life Tiff said, never apologize for expressing how you feel. I wish I had some great words of encouragement, but remember: What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Take everything life throws at you one day at a time. One minute at a time or one hour at a time, whatever you need to do to get by. Things will get better!

    Sending you lots of smiles…:) 🙂 🙂 🙂

  3. Yes don’t apolgize for venting. Sometimes venting can be very therapeutic!
    I hope things get better for you & its totally ok to cry at the tv or anything else. I do it all the time 😉 Stay strong!

  4. So sorry to hear you’re having such a hard time. Vent anytime you need, we’re hear. I’ll be praying for you!

  5. I can relate. Feb has been the month from hell. My relationship ended and my grandfather passed. It has been really hard but luckily I have some great family and friends and my faith to lean on. Things will get better.

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