not what I had planned


On Friday I was so happy for the weekend… I was looking forward to getting some things done, enjoy nice weather and down time…

Instead I found out about some bad blood work results that someone close to me received, which basically, if the person doesn’t change some of their ways could lead to some serious health issues…

Generally most people would be able to deal with it pretty easier, just a lab result that has the possibility to be changed… but for me, it just triggers way too much from when dad got sick…

The hardest part is knowing that dad had tons of warning signs and didn’t do anything about them… and this person is getting some additional warning signs and yet not making all of the efforts that they should…

After two days of getting severely depressed about this whole thing, I finally made the comment today that I would not bury another person close to me… took all i had not to break down…

I’m proud of myself for being able to identify all of my emotions and not running away from them… and this time i’m not just going to sit back and watch someone die… whether they like it or not…

needless to say, i can’t wait to go to work tomorrow, it will be a welcomed distraction…

miss you dad… wish i could have done this when you were still here…

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2 thoughts on “not what I had planned

  1. Hard news always makes me take a step or two backwards before I can decide on a better course of action. It sounds to me like you are ready to take action and have lots of strength and courage–and love to draw on! Do what you can, and remember to take care of yourself too. I bet your dad is very proud!

    • It was really tough… I started laughing as my go to defense and then I just got mad… how dare they think they can just kill themselves through neglect… not happening on my watch… not me being a savior but more making sure that other kids don’t go through what I did…

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