Our lives are really just one big challenge right? Sure there are days where we are on auto pilot. We go through the motions and get done what we need to. There are days that are exciting where we are on the highest of highs but they are often then balanced out by those where we struggle to remember why we started the journeys that we did.
I’ve talked often about getting back on the right path with my weight loss. I spent some time today looking back on photos from when I was at my highest weight in 2011-2012 and when I was at my lowest recent weight in spring of 2013. And then the ups and downs since then. I wondered why, when I looked so happy when I was losing the weight why I couldn’t keep it up, why I stumbled and fell. I didn’t have an answer. I don’t remember what happened to make me slip up.
What I do know is that sometimes your tool box is really only half full of all the tools you need to complete the job at hand. Sometimes you just don’t have all the knowlege you need or you didn’t get all of the parts you needed to build your final project. Way back in 2008 when I got down to my lowest adult weight I had cut a ton of sodium out of my diet. I was also working 3 jobs, under extreme stress, probably not eating much period at all and when all of that let up I put all of the weight back on and then some.
But I still know how to look for and avoid high sodium foods if I make the effort, and it impacts my migraines. Then in 2012 I started working out, focusing on portion control… I was determined to be a runner. I kept trying to be a running up until last summer when I realized I don’t want to run, it’s not for me, my body isn’t built for it and you know what that’s fine. And I was hungry… all. of. the. time. I saw progress but the moment I stop counting I was back up again. The moment I stopped working out progress slacked.
But I know the basics at the gym, I know how to use equipment and free weights, just not in the most efficient manner. I have some of the tools for the kitchen just not what was best for my body.
So recently I started using instagram as inspiration and began following Macey Phillips who has lost tremendous weight in less than a year through weight training and HIT and HIIT as well as IIFYM (If it fits your macros) meal plan. And wouldn’t you know she opened up a fitness challenge that started monday. I signed up immediately. She’s put a ton of work into the 8 week program, customizing Macros plans which let me tell you I eat alllllll day.
3 days in and I’m down 3 lbs… maybe some is water weight but remember I was back on this fitness thing for the last few weeks…. so I’m thinking well maybe this is real progress…
Other things that I’ve been able to find joy in now that I feel like I have control over my life again – because when you feel like you can control yourself you feel like you can control everything…
And I just may have applied to host Matthew Mayfield for a house show – though with Minnie, I was lucky to have a good friend offer space at his local establishment for the event… I’m just sitting here freaking out now like a fangirl waiting to hear if I win the bid…
This is one of those moments when life is good… it’s a snapshot in time but I’ll take it… and I wanted to make sure that I documented it because the next time one of those huge obstacles hits or when I feel like I can’t do it and just am over everything I can reflect on this and realize that nope, the strength is there. Just have to tap into it and remember when we can flex our muscles and when we control what we can we get to enjoy that which we can’t.